Listen to the Signs

He was a family member. I never told. How could a person break a family up and what if others found out that my brother was trying to sexually assault me? Would would be shunned? I never came forward all those years. I kept my mouth shut as to not embarrass my family. Later in life, this family member would be charged with rape and convicted. Still no one wanted to believe he was capable of that. After being released from prison this family member would once again abuse another family member and this time it would be my 11 year old daughter. This time he was reported to police even though another family member insisted that my daughter not tell and this matter be handled internally by the family. Victims such as us don’t get over it. Please don’t say get over it. Please don’t say time heals all. The pain I still feel today is overwhelming. The family member who did this still believes they were never in the wrong. He violated me and then attempted to do so with my daughter. I have survived over the last 30 years wishing someone would have believed me. This still haunts me to this day. Some of my worst moments in life revolve around childhood where a family member was holding me down on a bed attempting to tape me. Hush. Don’t tell. Threats. Lies. Cover up. My anger at times is still explosive because there has been no consequences. I think this goes on more than people realize. When will we learn to listen and see the signs? If I have learned anything…it is not my fault. It is not my daughter’s fault and if anything I have started to say I am a survivor. One day maybe I can talk more and set my demons free. The only truth in this matter is that I survived and so did my daughter.

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